Emergence of a mahatma

Sunil J. Kamat | my.fakingnews.firstpost.com | businessdailyreport.com

A Mahatma is emerging. “Hanging is evil, period,” he repeated the truth many times to drill it down the mind of an uneducated man seated next to him and Pronob Gajaswami, the anchor.

Emergence of a MahatmaTo the ears of the group of eminent lawyers, waiting for the President to decide on the mercy petition, viewing Pronob’s ‘Views Hour’ to work up a frenzy of adrenaline so that they can dare to go to the Chief Justice’s residence at midnight and manage to open the Supreme Court at two in the morning, it was music.

“We have heard this before,” Kushant Kubhushan said. “Seventy years ago. These are the echoes of a Mahatma.” More gems were to follow.

“Does the agony of surviving victims lessen anyway by the killing of Kasab? Does the loss of a loved one be made good by the counter killing of Kasab?” Now the hearts of the eminent lawyers were dancing with ecstasy. “The Mahatma has arrived,” Kushant Kubhushan declared.

As if to prove Kubhushan right, with his spiritual strength he took on the irrepressible Pronob, who on other days strikes terror in the minds of many politicians, and blocked Views Hour for a quarter of an hour for daring to hurl an affront: “What kind of argument is this sir? Should the bravery of Tukaram Omble go waste…?”

The illiterate man, sandwiched between the bombardier anchor and the mahakay Mahatma, soon became a collateral damage amidst allegations pelted from both sides. When the bewildered man wanted to know why he was termed uneducated, he was enlightened promptly: “Because you have not read the Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi.” The contradiction of Mahatma Gandhi not trying to commute Bhagat Singh’s death sentence was also explained as the ignorance of the panelists.

Assured that the destiny of the country will be safe in the hands of the new Mahatma Vishar Gandhi, bubbling with confidence, Kubhushan and his crusaders proceeded to the Chief Justice’s house.

The eminent lawyers were not the only ones who had spotted the aura of a Mahatma. Next day, a high power delegation comprising of Jaharul Gandhi, Patalvijay Singh and Tushi Karoor from the Congress, Kushant Kubhushan, the Asutosh, human rights activists like Beesta Settler and luminaries and foreign dignitaries from the underworld and Y.S.I. visited Vishar Gandhi’s residence. Jaharul Gandhi extended the invitation to be the mentor of the Congress with an assurance to confer Bharat Ratna as soon as they came to power, dislodging Modi within a year.

“Let the good times roll!” Patalvijay Singh said. “The Gandhi-Nehru duo has taken avatar in the fourth generation, this time with the same name! Hail Gandhi family.”

Vishar Gandhi accepted the honour after Jaharul Gandhi agreed to create a civilian award higher than Bharat Ratna like Rashtrapita for the Mahatma.

“A dastardly act has been perpetuated,” the Mahatma expounded his vision. “Prime-minister Modi should have done a public penance for hanging Yakub. But he won’t. On behalf of the entire nation, I will make the atonement by undertaking an 11 day amaran uposhan at Kala Ghoda. Let tomorrow be declared as a Rashtriya Pashchatap Din.”

“It should be an authentic fast Mahatma,” Kushant Kubhushan said. “Please do not expect any midnight tandoori or juice because as per V. P. Singh’s experience, to help you sustain your fast you will be surrounded at Kala Ghoda by Shiv Sainiks as watchdogs, who will test your resolve by savouring pav bhaji and hot potato vadas.”

“In that ceshe we batter hoold the fasht at Delhi shurroonded by our spacial volinteers,” the Asutosh said.

“And on the 12th day, we will launch nationwide satyagraha and non-cooperation movement by closing down the parliament and other offices for a year until Modi resigns,” Jaharul Gandhi said.

“I will undertake dandiyayatra er.. dandiyatra from Nagpur jail to 7 RCR,” the Mahatma said. “Kubhushan, please book a charter jet through yatra.com. I’ll warn Modi that he can hang another terrorist over my dead body.”

“Wow, I can see the oceans of aam janata chanting Quit Delhi.” Beesta Settler said to the intelligence dignitaries from the neighboring country, “Please request your leaders to prepare for the rectification of the blunder of partition. Within a year, we will begin the process of uniting the two countries and bring back the glory of India of the 16th century.”

“I’m sure Patalvijay uncle,” Jaharul Gandhi said, “Mummy will be impressed.”

Sunil J. Kamat

snlkamat@gmail.com

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